According to Plan
by you-didnt-thank-any1
Summary: Niles isn't the only one with a plan. An alternate ending to the episode "A Kiss is Just a Kiss".


"...It has to be sensuous, deeply felt, and most of all it has to be spontaneous!"

Niles had a comeback to Miss Babcock's supposed expertise on kissing ready to go on the tip of his tongue when he suddenly felt a terribly strong grip on his tie. In the blink of an eye, he was yanked around and forward until a pair of lips were crushed against his own. It took less than half a second for the butler to realize what was happening. It had been a while, certainly, but he could identify a kiss when he was receiving one. In that moment it seemed clear to him what had just occurred: Miss Babcock, looking to excersise the "spontaneity" she had apparently mastered, had grabbed the tie of the man she thought was Mr. Sheffield.

It was one of the few times in his adult life that Niles had absolutely no idea of what to do with himself. His first instinct told him to push the woman away with both hands, but several things stopped him: his left hand was preoccupied with the task of holding a teacup and saucer, drawing attention to this situation would only distract Mr. Sheffield from feeling guilty about Miss Fine, and he could smell Miss Babcock's perfume so well when they were this close…

After several seconds that could very well have been hours, Miss Babcock broke the kiss gently before opening her eyes. The alarmed look that quickly pasted itself on the woman's face would have been enough to put a smile on Niles's face if his heart hadn't been racing at a mile a minute. "Was it as bad for you as it was for me?" he drawled, trying his hardest to save face. He left Miss Babcock frozen in horror and made his way to the desk to set down the tea cup on the serving tray. Silently, Niles commended himself for keeping his hands steady after the unexpected whirlwind of a kiss.

Mr. Sheffield, as expected, left the room while muttering something about going to "comfort" Miss Fine. Niles internally congratulated himself on his plan to bring his boss and his best friend closer succeeding, and promised himself a snifter of brandy and a cigar later to celebrate. At the moment, however, there was one more thing he needed to do to put the ribbon on this perfect series of events.

"Didn't work out quite as you planned, did it?" he asked Miss Babcock, not looking up from the teacups. He awited to hear her cries of dismay, followed by the realization of the plan he'd set into motion in the kitchen, and finally the wonderful outrage that would erupt from her mouth like fire.

Niles played with these thoughts in his head for a few seconds until he heard the sound of the study door closing. Disappointed that the woman had simply left the room, Niles looked up from his work, only to be surprised to find Miss Babcock still inside the room, her back pressed against the now closed study door. "Actually," she said, her low voice sounding smug, self-satisfied, and predatory, "this went _exactly_ according to plan." Her wrist turned, and Niles could hear the loud click of the door locking from the inside. Before Niles could process what was happening, she was in front of him with both palms pressed lightly against the lapels of his suit.

"Miss Babcock?" Niles managed to ask, almost instinctively putting his arms around her waist. For the first time in two minutes their faces were inches apart, and he found himself leaning slowly forward towards her soft lips.

"You're not the only one who can come up with schemes," Miss Babcock said simply, smirking at him. She met him halfway with her own mouth, and then the two shared a kiss that, while perhaps not as spontaneous, certainly qualified as sensuous. And, if Niles was being completely honest with himself, deeply felt, at least on his end.

When they broke for air, Miss Babcock's hands were in his hair and Niles's were splayed across her back, drawing her as close to him as possible. "Well aren't you going to say anything?" Miss Babcock asked after a few moments of breathless silence.

Niles thought for a moment, then looked back at the breathtaking, unpredictable woman in his arms and grinned at her wickedly. "We have an hour until dinner."


End file.
